How I met my husband
This story starts ever since I stepped foot in Bangalore. I turned 24 within two months of being there and my dear mommy thought she had had enough of me and it was time to wash her hands off me (tanni telichify in Tamil). So she decided that she needed to get me married off! Talks had started even when I was in Delhi. The conversation went something like this:
Amma: Lavanya, you are getting old. (I was 23 for crying out loud!!!)
Me: What!!??? I'm only 23!!!
Amma: Illa ma, only if we start looking now will we be able to get you married in about two years
Me: Is it going to be so difficult to get me married??? Am I a responsibility you don't want??? I will run away from home if that's what you want!!
Amma: Shut up!! Don't be unreasonable! It's something I have to do as a parent. Are you waiting for someone?
Me: Waiting??!! What do you mean? Oh! Oh!! No! No!!! I'm not waiting for anyone!! Do whatever you want!!
Few other conversations followed.
Me : Why do I have to get married to someone YOU want me to get married to?? If I bring someone home and tell you that I want to get married to him, will you refuse?
Amma: Yes!! Hell Yes!! If you are looking, look for Iyengar payyan.
Me: What do you mean yes?? Aren't you even bothered about my happiness? Will you just say no because you want to?
Amma: Yes. I mean no.
Oct 2007:Phone conversation with mom: Amma: I looked and looked, no horoscopes match. I took 35 to the astrologer! He says something or the other about each one. You are so useless! Why can't you find Iyengar payyan on your own???
Me: Are you kidding me??? I know no Iyengar payyan. I only know Punjabi and Mallu payyans. Ok va??
Amma: Vendam vendam. I will only look.
Nov 2007: Amma: I found one match with payyan in Amrika. See photu and tell me if he's ok. He claims he is a good cook.
Me: Good cook!! Sure!! Why not!!!
Fast forward. Dec 2007 : Amma: The boy from Amrika is coming to India this month and they want to come see you over the Christmas weekend. Can you come home?
Me: Erm..I don't know. I might have to work then. Let me see
Amma: I know you have a holiday! And Christmas is a Tuesday. Take Monday off and come home! I am booking your tickets.
Me: Ugh! ok!
Christmas break 2007, location: Chennai : Amma: The boy and his parents will be here at 4.30. Which saree do you want to wear? And practise some songs. You have to sing something?
Me: Saree?? Song?? WTH!!?? I am NOT wearing a saree!! And I am not embarassing myself singing!!! I am going to be soooo nervous!!! Forget it!!
Amma: This is how it is normally done. SO get over it and sing now!! Your mamas and maamis and periamma are going to come! So this is how it is going to be. What songs do you want to sing??
Me: Mamas? Maami? Chitthi? How many people!!! Oh God!!! This is a wholesome family affair!!! And I don't care. I will wear whatever you want me to and sing whatever you want me to!!! You want me to be a doll, I will!! And I am telling you now, the NRI is going to come in shorts!! And if he does, I am changing into shorts myself!!
21 Dec 2007, 4.30 p.m :Amma: Vandutha. Ava vandutha!!! Ready aaaaaaa?????
Me: Yes maaaaa. Stop shouting.
After 40 mins of nervous waiting I was called out. There was my probable husband in jeans and a tee and here I was in a saree and jewellery that weighed more than I did! (that's what my future husband later told me :). I remember nothing of that evening, save the fact that when the payyan went to meet my delirious 89 yr old grandfather, the first question he asked was ' sambalam evvalo' (how much does he make). Awkward moment but I was totally kicked. My dear grampa did what no one could dare on the first meeting! Way to go gramps!!
Two hours of non-stop me talking and the payyan head nodding later, they were ready to leave. We both decided to take our time with decision making. I just had one small issue. I wanted to study some more and I wanted to know if he could fund me. Thumbs up. So far so good. Three weeks later I realied I had done most of the talking in our converstaions (which was great!), he shared pretty much the same interests as I did and I could bully him enough. And when the time came we both decided we were ready to take the next step.
And that's how I met my husband. And moved to Yankeeland. That's another story.
Later
Amma: Lavanya, you are getting old. (I was 23 for crying out loud!!!)
Me: What!!??? I'm only 23!!!
Amma: Illa ma, only if we start looking now will we be able to get you married in about two years
Me: Is it going to be so difficult to get me married??? Am I a responsibility you don't want??? I will run away from home if that's what you want!!
Amma: Shut up!! Don't be unreasonable! It's something I have to do as a parent. Are you waiting for someone?
Me: Waiting??!! What do you mean? Oh! Oh!! No! No!!! I'm not waiting for anyone!! Do whatever you want!!
Few other conversations followed.
Me : Why do I have to get married to someone YOU want me to get married to?? If I bring someone home and tell you that I want to get married to him, will you refuse?
Amma: Yes!! Hell Yes!! If you are looking, look for Iyengar payyan.
Me: What do you mean yes?? Aren't you even bothered about my happiness? Will you just say no because you want to?
Amma: Yes. I mean no.
Oct 2007:Phone conversation with mom: Amma: I looked and looked, no horoscopes match. I took 35 to the astrologer! He says something or the other about each one. You are so useless! Why can't you find Iyengar payyan on your own???
Me: Are you kidding me??? I know no Iyengar payyan. I only know Punjabi and Mallu payyans. Ok va??
Amma: Vendam vendam. I will only look.
Nov 2007: Amma: I found one match with payyan in Amrika. See photu and tell me if he's ok. He claims he is a good cook.
Me: Good cook!! Sure!! Why not!!!
Fast forward. Dec 2007 : Amma: The boy from Amrika is coming to India this month and they want to come see you over the Christmas weekend. Can you come home?
Me: Erm..I don't know. I might have to work then. Let me see
Amma: I know you have a holiday! And Christmas is a Tuesday. Take Monday off and come home! I am booking your tickets.
Me: Ugh! ok!
Christmas break 2007, location: Chennai : Amma: The boy and his parents will be here at 4.30. Which saree do you want to wear? And practise some songs. You have to sing something?
Me: Saree?? Song?? WTH!!?? I am NOT wearing a saree!! And I am not embarassing myself singing!!! I am going to be soooo nervous!!! Forget it!!
Amma: This is how it is normally done. SO get over it and sing now!! Your mamas and maamis and periamma are going to come! So this is how it is going to be. What songs do you want to sing??
Me: Mamas? Maami? Chitthi? How many people!!! Oh God!!! This is a wholesome family affair!!! And I don't care. I will wear whatever you want me to and sing whatever you want me to!!! You want me to be a doll, I will!! And I am telling you now, the NRI is going to come in shorts!! And if he does, I am changing into shorts myself!!
21 Dec 2007, 4.30 p.m :Amma: Vandutha. Ava vandutha!!! Ready aaaaaaa?????
Me: Yes maaaaa. Stop shouting.
After 40 mins of nervous waiting I was called out. There was my probable husband in jeans and a tee and here I was in a saree and jewellery that weighed more than I did! (that's what my future husband later told me :). I remember nothing of that evening, save the fact that when the payyan went to meet my delirious 89 yr old grandfather, the first question he asked was ' sambalam evvalo' (how much does he make). Awkward moment but I was totally kicked. My dear grampa did what no one could dare on the first meeting! Way to go gramps!!
Two hours of non-stop me talking and the payyan head nodding later, they were ready to leave. We both decided to take our time with decision making. I just had one small issue. I wanted to study some more and I wanted to know if he could fund me. Thumbs up. So far so good. Three weeks later I realied I had done most of the talking in our converstaions (which was great!), he shared pretty much the same interests as I did and I could bully him enough. And when the time came we both decided we were ready to take the next step.
And that's how I met my husband. And moved to Yankeeland. That's another story.
Later
2 Comments:
A great narration...seems u have been reading quite a lot recently...u shud try ur hand in writing more often-n thanks for explaining the tamil terms in detail :)
Waiting for more!!!!!!
Have never gone on to the next window without leaving a comment on what I have read on a blog.
Happy Married Life...Lavanya Govindarajan.
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